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Overcoming Guilt and Regret

Too often us mortal souls are dogged by the dark clouds of guilt and regret. Regret is the feeling of wishing we'd done (or not done) something in the past different than what we actually did. Guilt is feeling bad with, or even disliking ourselves, over some past act or omission.

Time, as we perceive it, is linear. What is done is done and never can be undone. The most powerful man on the planet cannot change by one iota what happened a fraction of a second ago. Given that, stop worrying about it. You're only wasting precious energy that ought to be channeled into now.

We all experience feelings of regret at some time in our lives. Since we don't always, or rather never, perform perfectly, after any event there will be feelings that we could have done better. Begin by accepting that our imperfection is not only inevitable but also part of our reason for being, ie to learn.

Despite our inevitable imperfection, the best form of cure is prevention. Incarnate entities operate largely at an automatic, instinctive level, and for much of the time this works well, eg how often do you arrive at a familiar destination with no recollection of the journey, and it wouldn't be so good to have to remember to breathe. But we often allow our internal auto-pilot to abdicate our responsibility for making conscious choices.

Try varying a standard routine, just for the sake of change - a change is as good as a rest! Instead of doing the things you've always done just because you've always done them, question them. Are they really the best, or is there a better option. Just by taking control and actually thinking more about what we do we can improve the quality and effectiveness of our judgment.

Having taken greater responsibility for our choices we can reduce but never eliminate the causes of guilt and regret. In light of this, gain what is to be gained from what went wrong. What should we have done? What can we do in future? What can we do to improve ourselves and so prevent similar failings in future?

Once we have taken all lessons on board, we can safely let go of the negative feelings surrounding our regret. What's done is done and never can be altered. If we have adapted and grown as a result then be satisfied the experience was worthwhile.

Never give up. If we have failed to achieve a particular objective first time around it does not make it unattainable. Learn the lessons, grow stronger, and try, try again.

What of guilt, where we have not just under-performed, but actually done some harm to another or ourselves? Let's not beat ourselves up too much. The fact that we feel guilt at least proves our humanity and our compassion for our fellow beings. That is no small thing, so give yourself a big pat on the back.

If we have done harm to another, materially or emotionally, then we have a duty to try to compensate for that harm. We can never turn the clock back, but we can attempt in some way to ensure those we damaged are no worse off as a result of our misdemeanors.

Sometimes the person to whom we feel guilty cannot be adequately compensated. In such case we can always make some contribution to the general good, perhaps donating to a worthwhile cause, or doing a favor to a complete stranger etc. Since we are all one anyway it matters not.

Can we rectify the sins (or mistakes) of the past? Sometimes, of course we can. But other times the circumstances in which path A was right have moved on and now path B is right. A missed opportunity that was right ten years ago may not be right now if you and the world have changed. In seeking to rectify errors be sure that today's goals are right for today.

Too often in this world we are results orientated. The end justifies the means. This is wrong. The end, at least physically, for us all is the grave. What really counts is the process, and the intention. If you want something, and you try your best to get it, you will be fulfilling the purpose of your existence. For whether or not you achieve your hypothetical goal is unimportant. What really matters are the lessons you learn, and the contributions you make, along the way. At the end of the day material achievements are wiped out, but lessons learned and experience gained contribute to both personal and universal Spiritual growth.

If you do "wrong", don't allow it to destroy you. If you are here on earth it is because you are meant to be here and you have a duty to make the most of every second of your existence.

Acknowledge your mistakes, gain from them, make any necessary recompense, and move on stronger and wiser as a result.

© abracad 2006

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